Discouraged.

I hate due dates. Especially ones that are so loosey goosey. According to the calculations the baby was due May 7. According to the ultrasounds- May 12. So what's the problem you ask? Well once you have in your head a "due date" (May 7) it's hard to not plan around that or focus on that being the end. I've been off work all week and it's torture! Not just because I am still pregnant but because I'm bored. I've never had time off work to do nothing. I'm not even good at staying home sick because it's so boring. But here I am five days in and now I'm getting anxiety about wasting my precious time off with no baby to care for which makes the thought of going back to work even more dreadful....

And to top it off, just got home from my doctors appointment. NOTHING IS HAPPENING. Cervix? Still so high she couldn't even rupture the membranes all the way...discussion then let to when we will induce labor "if we need to" which at this point seems inevitable. Which makes me kind of heartbroken because I know once that happens I can pretty much kiss my natural childbirth plan goodbye...

Theres nothing we can do to control this situation or change what's happening (or not happening rather) and it sucks and makes the whole thing that much more frustrating.

Let's just hope that whatever little bit she was able to accomplish encourages something to happen and soon. I might go crazy otherwise.